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Sun Shower

sun shower-
the oily pavement
stained with rainbows

—Brian Gierat
        
Primary Source:
http://tinywords.com/haiku/
Haiku posted at:
http://tinywords.com/haiku/2001/03/28/

Wreck of the Hesperus

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It was the schooner Hesperus,
That sailed the wintry sea;
And the skipper had taken his little daughter,
To bear him company.

Blue were her eyes as the fairy-flax,
Her cheeks like the dawn of day,
And her bosom white as the hawthorn buds,
That ope in the month of May.

The skipper he stood beside the helm,
His pipe was in his mouth,
And he watched how the veering flaw did blow
The smoke now West, now South.

Then up spake an old Sailor,
Had sailed to the Spanish Main,
‘I pray thee, put into yonder port,
For I fear a hurricane.
…for the complete poem, go to:
http://www.emule.com/poetry/?page=poem&poem=3661
Primary Source:
http://www.emule.com/poetry/

Do you know who I am?

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class!

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.

1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

“You’re not going to have time to finish this,” the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

“Yes I will,” replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

“No you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late.”

The student looked incredulous and angry. “Do you know WHO I am?”

“No, as a matter of fact I don’t,” replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” the student asked again.

“No, and I don’t care.” replied the professor with an air of superiority.
…for the punch line, go to:
http://www.emailjoke.com/page50.html#1009
Primary Source:
http://www.emailjoke.com/

After the Argument

After the argument –
quiet
when I walk in the room.

—Jon Summers
        
Primary Source:
http://tinywords.com/haiku/
Haiku posted at:
http://tinywords.com/haiku/2002/11/21/

Forgotten Planet

Forgotten Planet
Doug Dorph
I ask my daughter to name the planets.
“Venus …Mars …and Plunis!” she says.
When I was six or seven my father
woke me in the middle of the night.
We went down to the playground and lay
on our backs on the concrete looking up
for the meteors the tv said would shower.

I don’t remember any meteors. I remember
my back pressed to the planet Earth,
…for the complete poem, go to:
http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/158.html
Primary Source:
http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/

The Veterinarian Exam

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, but your dog has passed away.”

“What?” screamed the man. “How can you tell? You haven’t done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!”

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly with his nose. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, “Bark” (meaning “dead as a doornail”).

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also carefully sniffed out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, “Meow” (meaning “he’s history”). He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog’s owner went berserk. “$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!”
…for the punch line, go to:
http://www.emailjoke.com/page53.html#1063
Primary Source:
http://www.emailjoke.com/

Deep Space

6.26.2006

deep space
Hubble cameras failing
invaders slip by

kara
 
Primary Source:
http://lookingforthesun.blogspot.com/
Haiku posted at:
http://lookingforthesun.blogspot.com/2006/06/deep-space-hubble-cameras-failing.html